Late ramblings on Nano

I'm finding it unexpectedly hard to write a. I hadn't realized how USED to having beta readers look at each chapter as I write them. Usually that takes time and no one is overwhelmed. Nano is different. I'm firing this out at reckless speeds. This dependence has come upon me gradually.

A fifteen years ago I barely had the internet and most of my writing was done in a vacuum. No one would see it until it was done. Then I started posting online at FFN and other online sites. It paid to have another beta. Well, I would have them for my original fiction back in the day and less so for fanfic because you had to pay to photocopy and mail it to friend and wait for them to get it back to you.

No doubt the instance online feedback is a drug and I've grown more than a little dependant on it. Is my nano any good? Am I going the right direction? I don't want to spends months revision crap that shouldn't have been written in the first place but I will because that's the nature of the beast. I started handing a chapter or scene at a time to my first readers a decade ago. Now I feel almost utterly too dependant on them.

They're busy with other things, not the least of which (as far as my selfish concerns go) is my novel Kept Tears which could be ready to send out by January if I'm lucky. I'm waiting to hear back where I messed up this time (because I'm sure I have), is the PTSD organic or inconsistent, do we care about the protagonists etc. Even that novel really didn't have instant feedback but I was less of a baby about it.