Apr. 30th, 2017

jana_denardo: (Default)
Z is for zen. I try to achieve a zen-like state daily. Oh, I suck at it but I try. I used to have my struggles with zen in my author bio until I changed it to fit my geeky brand a bit better. I tend toward a type A personality with a trigger temper. If anyone thinks changing your temper is easy is either a bit deluded or just plain misguided. I have mellowed in my middle age but still it’s bad.

I’m a high stress sort. I’ve broken four teeth grinding them. I’ve clenched ground and otherwise aggravated the fuck out of my TMJs so badly I now have arthritis in my jaw. I used to be a medical doctor, a high stress job. Teaching and writing have a lot of high stress moments too (what job doesn’t, am I right?) so I started looking into zen meditation.

I’m not looking for enlightenment. I’ll never be perfect. I’m mostly looking for a pressure valve so I don’t break more teeth, punch another wall, have a heart attack etc. (I leave pummeling people to fiction. If you displease me, you may meet a truly gruesome fictional end).

I’ve read up on meditation. I’ve done free meditation sessions via the Chopra Center. I’m not really living in an area where I can go to classes for this sort of thing.

More than a class, I wish we had a zen garden around here. The nearest Japanese garden is 80 miles away at Dawes Arboretum (Still want to go). Or any gardens. I have the hills but sometimes hiking them can be dangerous alone. I feel more calm surrounded by greenery though. I tend to get more out of that than I do out of actual meditation.

I may never be perfectly zen. I can only do my best and if I get some benefits from my attempts, that’s all I need.

And I survived the A to Z challenge. This was fun. Thanks for putting up with me for the month. I appreciate all the people who stopped by. I’ve enjoyed stopping by other people’s blogs. Thanks to our host as well.

 photo survivor-atoz 2017 v1_zpsdt5331ro.jpg

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